if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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