that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
