just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
