Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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