we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
