I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
