you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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