It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The uberlube is also flammable
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
