You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
