Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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