Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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