I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
