i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
