My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
