so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
