she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is Oprah even human
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
