i don't like sucking hair
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
