And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
