theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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