Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Someone came in the potted fern
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
