If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My liver just had a heart attack.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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