New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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