wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
