Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
