on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
