if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
