how can u be prego again
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
