can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
