Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Randomize
