North Korea, Best Korea!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
