Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
