There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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