Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
