im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When are your genitals available?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
