I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
