none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
