Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
