Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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