so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
