you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
