Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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