Me too!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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