I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
