I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I faked an abortion last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
