His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
