What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Panties = found
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