i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
