Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
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