she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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