Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
