Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
either way he was missing a nipple.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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