hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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