He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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