I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just had sex on a roof
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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