we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
