i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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