i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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