he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
